No matter whether you’re a controller or compliant, you can go through life exhausted because of the demands on others or yourself. You can damage yourself and others, and you can miss out on God’s best for your life. That’s why getting a clear sense of boundaries is so important.
Four Areas Where We Need Clear Boundaries…Let’s look at two today.
1. Our Friendships – Effective, healthy, long-lasting friendships generally involve mutual give and take (not always equal but mutual). If you are in a relationship with a needy person, no matter how much you give, it is never enough. No matter how much emotion and energy you invest in the relationship it is NEVER ENOUGH. All you hear is I NEED! GIVE ME! And every relationship have limits. We are finite, limited people. We are not people’s source. If you let anyone make you their source you become an ENABLER. You now are part of the problem rather than part of the solution.
The story of the Good Samaritan is a classic example. The Samaritan helps, but the help has limits. (“WHAT! You leaving me now?” I thought you were a Christian? What kind of Samaritan are you anyway?”
In Jesus story the Samaritan helps, but his help has limits.
- He bandages the man up, but he doesn’t perform surgery.
- He takes him to an inn, but he doesn’t move him in his house.
- He pays for a few days expenses, but he doesn’t give him a blank check.
Friendships are dependent on people having an appropriate, healthy understanding of knowing when to say “Yes” and when to say “No.”
Some of you are in an unhealthy relationship at this time (it may be with your children) where limits need to be set.
2. Our Family – None of us really like boundaries but children especially don’t like them. About the age two a child will learn one of these WORDS. And it becomes their favorite. Wanna guess which word it is? Eat your veggies. NO! Drink your milk. NO! Take a nap. NO! We don’t like this and it needs to be addressed but remember it still is important for them to know the word NO. Because when your daughter or son is 17, 18, and on a date they need to know the word NO!
Children desperately need parents who, with love and wisdom, set boundaries and make sure the boundaries have consequences. Every child needs to learn that he or she can SAY “No” and are still loved, valuable and accepted by God while others may reject them.
And children need to learn to hear “No” or they won’t be equipped to deal with life. (LIFE IS NOT ALL YES! YES!)
What we should want for our children is what God wants for them —- that is to grow up and live God honoring lives.